Dear Hospice Heart,
I started volunteering for hospice when I was in college, at age 19. I found such meaning in spending Sunday mornings with hospice patients and continued to volunteer for a children’s hospice when I moved to Kansas City for graduate school. I was a hospice volunteer for over 4 years and reluctant to turn my volunteering into a job, simply because I loved it so much. My path had a different plan, however, and I got my first hospice social work job in 2009. I worked as a hospice social worker, clinical manager, Director of Operations and Director of Clinical Services over 15 years. In 2020 I had two young children and knew that it was a season of life where I needed to transition out of hospice. I was reluctant to do so and left my role with a heavy heart. I know I wouldn’t miss the on-call hours, visits from the state, compliance or updating medication formularies, but I would miss the people I worked with and the people we served.
November is Hospice Appreciation Month. I have reflected on what that really means, to me, as a former hospice professional. It was an honor to work with families. It was a privilege to enter sacred space when someone was in their final weeks, days, hours and moments of life. I didn’t feel like I needed appreciation for holding sacred space and being a guest in each space I entered.
When you say you work for hospice at a dinner party, or next to someone on an airplane, the common response is “hospice people are such angels”. For those of us who work in hospice, we usually smile, say thank you and shrug it off. It’s true, there is something more to these roles than “work” or a “job”. There is a purity and essence of the human experience that hospice professionals are a part of. We don’t see ourselves as angels, most of us describe the work we do as an honor and privilege. There is an intimacy in end-of-life care, when people are stripped of the façade and their authenticity and essence is revealed. Being with people in their last months, weeks, days and moments of life is powerful and intimate, there is purpose and connection to patients, families, colleagues and a greater power, whatever that means to each individual.
When I was in administrative roles, however, I watched my team and appreciated them in ways that I didn’t recognize at the bedside. Hospice professionals walk in, when most people walk out. They are on call 24/7/365. Nurses and team members may not remember the last time they had a holiday off or celebrated with out their phone. As most people are taking time off around the holidays, hospice teams are creating on call and staffing schedules to try to get everyone a block of hours to be with their families, rather than days and weeks.
To our hospice professionals, we appreciate you. You hold space during transitions, model that the “fix” may just be presence, you enter spaces that most people leave and are witness to tender and spiritual moments. Your dedication to your work allows people to stay home in their final days, families to say goodbye and gives peace and reassurance to people who are dying and those around them.
Thank you, for all you do. I miss the work and am grateful to those who continue to give of themselves.
Love,
Jenn
Written by: Jenn Flaum
Nov 2024